ze inglisch lengwitch is difikult

I had to teach Sexual Education in Year 9.
So I asked a colleague to help me.
"Derek, could you help me with my sex education? I've heard you are good at it."
His answer, "Oh yes, I'd be pleased. But don't tell my wife."

I went to the hairdresser's round the corner.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"'A haircut and a blowjob, please."


After a long day to Liz, a colleague of mine, "Gosh, I am scattered!"

To the headteacher:
"Sir, Hayden bonked off!"

Roddy: "I think, you are a spunky woman. Look it up in the dictionary, it's nothing kinky."

Being invited to a dinner party, the lady of the house asked me, "Would you like Trifle or Spotted Dick?"
"I'd prefer Trifle, the latter sounds like a sexually transmitted disease".


"Are you an aussie?"
"No, an ostrich".